The December People’s Choice Award goes to…

The people have spoken… The December People’s Choice Award goes to Leela Velautham for her short play, Best Christmas Ever, presented as a staged reading Simulcast & On-Demand via Vimeo Live on December 26th. Congratulations, Leela!

Courtesy of Leela, we’re pleased to share the first few pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!

BEST CHRISTMAS EVER
by Leela Velautham

Cast Breakdown:
Max: A man in his mid-twenties. Any race.
Helen: A woman in her early sixties. Max’s mother. Loving, but overbearing. Any race.
Malcolm: A man in his sixties. Max’s Dad. Any race.
Rachel: A woman in her mid-twenties. Max’s (first and only) girlfriend. Any race.

(MAX is sitting on his couch, alone in his apartment on
Christmas day. He is not unhappy about this. He opens a bottle of
wine, and pours himself a glass. He poises himself to turn the tv
on. His mobile rings.)

MAX

Hey Mom? Yeah, not too bad. How long did it take us, oh, I don’t know, a couple hours? Yeah,
they’ve got a big tree, all the decorations. Mm-hm, yep, no, it’s crazy here, she’s got a bunch of
cousins, must be fifty at least.

(as MAX talks, he looks at the label on the bottle of wine,
distracted.)

MAX

We did presents earlier actually, in the morning. Mm-hm, like normal people. What did I get? Uh
(Max looks down) a sweater? What kind? I don’t know, just like a normal sweater – like a blue –
can I send you a picture? Uh, later, maybe?
Oh, you know what, they’ve just started karaoke I should probably –
Mm-hm.
Yeah, sorry again I couldn’t be with you all this year. Just, you know, it’s my first big
relationship so when her parents asked I didn’t want to –
Yeah. No, I know, it really doesn’t feel like Christmas without your sprouts. No – no, please
don’t make them and mail them Mom, that’s – because that’s insane! Imagine how soggy the
package’ll –so actually the music’s just coming on, so I’d better –
Mm-hm, okay, will do. Yep. Say hi to Dad for me. Yep. Yep. Love you too. Merry-merry
Christmas.

(MAX hangs up and exhales. He goes back to the glass of
wine. Just as he’s about to take a sip, his phone rings again. He
puts the glass down and answers it.)

MAX

Hey honey. How are –
Oh man. Oh wow, that’s – nothing worse than a Monopoly cheat. Families, huh?
I’m okay. Mm-hm, yeah, two sisters are here with all their kids, it’s a mad house. My mom’s in
her element, ha. She’s just putting on her sprouts. Yeah, her special Christmas sprouts. Always
simultaneously too dry and waterlogged, the real Christmas miracle.
Yeah, sorry, again I couldn’t join you this year. It’s just Christmas is such a big thing for my
family, I didn’t want to – mm-hm, mm-hm, maybe next year.
Alright. Well, phone later, if you want to vent.
Mm-hm.
Miss you too. Yep. Love you more. No, I love you more. Alright, merry Christmas. Love you.
Bye.

(MAX puts the phone down. He picks up the glass of wine.)

MAX

Peace. At. Last.

(MAX takes a leisurely sip of wine. He smiles and sits back.)

MAX

Mmmm.
That is.
Smooth.
Smoooooth.
Mmmmmmmm.

(MAX is just about to turn the television on when the doorbell
rings. He groans and puts the wine down. He opens the door.
HELEN and MALCOLM enter. HELEN is holding a present.)

MAX

Mom? Dad? What are heck are you –

HELEN

We were just in area, and wanted to drop your present off

MAX

What do you mean you were just in the area, you literally just called, I thought you were at
home?

HELEN

Well both of your sisters were off with their in-laws and it didn’t seem worth doing a big
Christmas dinner with just the two of us, so –

MALCOLM

Your mother was depressed.

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