The January People’s Choice Award goes to…

The people have spoken… The January People’s Choice Award goes to Claire Abramovitz for her short play The Real Mah Jong Ladies of Venice, Italy, presented as a staged reading at The Producers Club and via livestream on January 20th. Congratulations, Claire!

Courtesy of Claire, we’re pleased to share the first few pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!

The Real Mah Jong Ladies of Venice, Italy
by Claire Abramovitz

CHARACTERS
Stella – A middle aged Jewish woman, 40s+ F, prefers a dry red
Daniella – A middle aged Jewish woman, 40+ F, thinks mixing red and white wine makes rose
Jessica – Young Jewish woman, 20s F, doesn’t have time to think about wine preferences

Two women, STELLA and DANIELLA, are sitting
at a table with glasses of wine playing Mah
Jong. I want to believe that throughout all of
time middle aged Jewish women have been
playing Mah Jong with the girls.

STELLA
Frankly I can’t believe it.

DANIELLA
Honestly I don’t know what anyone expected.

STELLA
The whole affair is absurd.

DANIELLA
Ah. But let’s not gossip.
(she puts down a tile)
The way they didn’t even have real lawyers? Awful.

STELLA
No no, enough of that. We’re here to unwind.
(she puts a tile down)
Do I think the guy is such a mensch, no. But the whole thing should be deemed a mistrial. An affront to justice I say.

DANIELLA
Ugh. The world is in shambles. What else is new. Let’s discuss something pleasant.
(puts down a tile)
You know. If I knew it was so easy to just put on a wig and pretend to be a lawyer, maybe there would be a different story.

STELLA
I hate to say it, but it’s a good thing poor Leah,zichronah l’vracha, isn’t here to see all this. Better to die when she did then to have all this meshugas kill her.

DANIELLA
Better to live as a Jew and die as a Jew.

STELLA
Do you think he’ll put the house on the market?

DANIELLA
Ugh, what a beautiful house. Remember the tile options Leah showed us? My God, who could ever afford such things.

STELLA
Such a beautiful house. What a shame. Such a shame. Such a macher, gave so much to the community. Huge donor to the shul.
(beat)
Not to mention it makes the rest of us look horrendous. Like a bunch of crazy people. One guy goes off the deep end and you know what that’s going to spell for us. Trouble. Nothing but trouble.

DANIELLA
You think we agree with such nonsense? He said crazy things because he was apparently a madman. Not a Jew. A real Jew would just mind his business. Who has the time?

STELLA
Who has the resources.

DANIELLA
Poor Leah. If only she were here to tame him. I would never let Avram get away with such ridiculous behavior. Can you imagine?

STELLA
Can I imagine? If Ira pulled a stunt like that he’d be sleeping on the couch for a week.
(beat)
We’re never going to hear the end of it. Put us all in a corner so it’s easier to get us all at once.
(beat)
Aha! Your move.

DANIELLA
That was sneaky! Ooh Stella… that was sneaky.

STELLA
Have more wine.

DANIELLA
Sure. I play better drunk.

STELLA
So – make a move.

DANIELLA puts down a tile.

Join us for our next Monday Night PlayGround on February 24, live at The Producers Club and simulcast! For more info, click here!