The March People’s Choice Award goes to…
The people have spoken… The March People’s Choice Award goes to Matthew Park for his short play, Little Miss Muffet, presented as a staged reading Simulcast & On-Demand via Vimeo Live on March 28th. Congratulations, Matthew!
Courtesy of Matthew, we’re pleased to share the first few pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!
Little Miss Muffet
by Matthew Park
CAST OF CHARACTERS
PRUDENCE MUFFET a whip-smart but seemingly sickly fifteen year old girl who has been trapped in her bedroom for years
THOMAS MUFFET Prudence’s father, a middle-aged physician and full-time narcissist who is obsessed with entomology
MARGARET BATES a seemingly obedient housemaid in her 20s who has spent her entire life caring for the Muffet family
SETTING
The bedroom of a townhouse.
TIME
18th century England.
A room in a Georgian era townhouse. It is part bedroom,
part laboratory. The walls are covered with framed
spiders of various sizes and species. Medical instruments
are strewn about the table.
PRUDENCE MUFFET, a fifteen year old girl, lays in bed
with a cold compress on her head. Her father, DR.
MUFFET, enters the room with a notebook
DR. MUFFET
Any new developments?
PRUDENCE
My fever has gone down. But it seems I’ve developed a sore throat.
DR. MUFFET
Did you take the labyrinth spider before bed?
PRUDENCE
Yes. I swallowed it whole with an egg yolk just like you prescribed.
DR. MUFFET
Open your mouth.
He inspects PRUDENCE coldly, like he would a farm
animal. He jots down some notes, and then rings a bell
summoning MARGARET, the housemaid
MARGARET
Did you need something, sir?
DR. MUFFET
Margaret, fetch the mortar and pestle. And bring me my jars.
MARGARET exits. The inspection continues.
DR. MUFFET
Your nose has swelled.
PRUDENCE
Is that a bad sign?
DR. MUFFET
It could be a side-effect of the spinnerets. Once dried those glands have powerful healing properties, but they have also been known to cause facial warts.
PRUDENCE
Facial warts?!
DR. MUFFET
Although I’ve yet to hear anyone report a case of nasal swelling. Perhaps it is the residual silk?
PRUDENCE
I wish you would have told me about any potential side-effects.
DR. MUFFET
What are a few blemishes in the pursuit of a cure?
DR. MUFFET sits down and begins to write.
PRUDENCE
That was mother’s quill.
DR. MUFFET
Yes, it grips quite nicely. This material must look perfect.
PRUDENCE
Are you exchanging more letters with that Swiss physician?
DR. MUFFET
No, this is for the Theatrum Insectorum. The first scientific catalogue of insects, listing all of my curatives. Ground up mole crickets to reduce flatulence; an orb weaver in a ball of butter to increase fertility. It will be the definitive entomological text of our time.
PRUDENCE
Is that what I hear you working on all through the night?
DR. MUFFET
Extraordinary people have to make extraordinary sacrifices.
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